.Thursday, July 20, 2006 Y
haPpI daE!!! hMm.. s0 long since i have last post... hAha.. yest nite i was so happi.. hmm.. i slept till bout 11 plus.. den sharon call mi n wish mi happi birthdae.. by e time.. i saw 3 messages.. 1st is from hong jie.. wishing mi happi birthdae.. 2nd de is from derek papa.. sing birthdae song for mi.. haha.. so happi.. den fang jie also msged mi.. hahas.. hmm.. go ling kwang collect camera from jane.. cos lyn call mi help her collect.. den.. go bishan find sharon.. cos she workin.. den call mi go bata.. cos she wan gib mi thingy.. hahas.. its moii present.. she gave mi earring.. hahas.. i like it.. den finally lyn reach le.. gave mi birthdae present.. she gave mi perfume... BRANDED de leh.. n a birthdae card.. hahas.. lyn always so sweet n cute.. hahas.. i love her man! lols.. haha... don anyhow think.. love her as my fren lah... i not les.. hahas... den lata mid derek papa at mrt.. neva talk... lol.. haha.. den talk a bit.. haha... den go mid fang jie ard bugis mac.. den while waitin for fang, lyn go buy french fries n green tea.. i buy sprite.. den we started to drink.. den fang jie reach le.. den derek papa den go eat.. den after eating we go beach.. long journey there.. hahas... den go cycle.. so cheap.. $4 for 1 n a half hour leh.. nxt time i wan go again.. hmm.. den cycle here n there.. v long liao.. den sit a while.. cos v hot.. den my hp rang.. my sis.. call mi for wad.. SCOLD mi!!!! actualli i last last nite reach home at 9pm sharp loh.. guess wad.. my mum go tell my sis i 11pm plus den reach home.. she slping anyhow say.. nv c e time.. always like tt.. in e end my sis call mi n scold.. haii.. den i sit down there cry n cry.. den derek papa lie down dere.. lyn n fang jie comfort mi.. call mi don cry.. cos my birthdae.. fang jie call mi throw away all my sad moments.. n think bout good ones.. den i just walk away den cycle back to mac.. veri far.. i v bad hor.. i cycle e wrong way make fang jie so worry.. come down e bike n find mi.. fang jie.. thanks.. sori jie.. i not in e mood mah.. i was so sad!!! den derek papa nv care roller blade alone back.. den when i went back e right way, i saw derek papa so far away from mi.. den i go even faster den them.. finally go after derek papa.. he like don wanna care like tt.. haii.. hmm.. den mid edwin, zi ming n stanley.. saw them.. i forget my sad thingy.. see them i so happi.. den talk to them.. cos sooooooooooooooo long nv c.. 6 months like tt bahs.. so miss dem... den go beach walk walk.. take photos n play.. stanley wan push mi into e water.. den i forced myself not to go.. haha... den he nv pull le.. so bad hor.. pull mi.. lol.. den we walk back to a shelter.. clean of shoes.. cos its full of sand!!! haha.. clean liao den nth to do... take pic again!!! but too bad.. zi ming digital cam no batt!!!! hahas... luckily got lyn de.. but actualli not lyn de lah.. its uncle bernard.. hmm.. den took pic wif them.. 1 by 1.. long queue... lol... haha... no lah.. my bdae mah.. lol.. let mi happi a bit lah.. n summore long time no see loh.. hahas.. haha.. while waiting for kok meng.. we took pic.. den edwin n ziming wan go buy water.. den kok meng come liao.. but nv wait.. stanley so angry loh.. say wan go take cab home.. den i tell him to cool down lah.. giv mi some face... den he ok lah.. hmm.. den took bus.. go home... got scolded.. haha.. nvm de lah.. xi guan le.. i hack care le la... this home... i hate it.. i will upload e pictures few daes lata.. cos lyn haven get e digital cam cable!!! sad.. haha.. k la.. gtg.. take care fwen.. while readiing my post, don slp hor!!! lol...
l0ve mE..1:16 AM
.Monday, July 17, 2006 Y
nOwaDaeS sO mOodY.. dunno y.. nowadaes feel so unhappi.. dunno wad happen also.. thinking.. mayb i don wanna get into any rel anymore.. jus wanna b a normal gal.. to b alone for e rest of my life.. at times, i wanna b loved too.. but.. for mi, my thinking tells mi that.. no guys can b trusted in this world.. no good guys.. nono.. there is.. but.. i jus couldnt find my real HIM.. i was thinking.. where is my real HIM??.. haii.. for mi.. guys onli noes how to make gals sad.. make gals heart broken.. n even killed themselves jus bcos of a guy.. i realli wanna b in loved.. but.. when i think.. if a rel ends, most common is gals will get hurt very badly.. in loved is sweet.. but.. when it ends, it hurt ppl alot.. even though now i wanna b loved, no one will love mi.. no one will ever love mi.. my attitude sucks.. i may think that i am a bad fren too.. mayb i m not suit to b anyones fren.. when after doin a thing, i will feel bad.. realli bad.. but wad to do? wad done is already done.. haaii.. like jus now.. i neva keep e secret from hong jie de sis.. in e end, she reached home get scolded.. i realli feel bad.. todae.. mi fang jie, hong jie n her frens go play pool.. playing pool n eat today, spend away my this week money le.. haaii.. sometimes eat also can spend away lots of money.. after eating, u found all ur money gone.. cos all e money go buy food le... todae nv do much things outside.. jus play pool.. like tt nia.. k lah.. nth to tok liao.. nite..
l0ve mE..1:51 AM
.Saturday, July 15, 2006 Y
nO tiTletodae.. woke up at 11 plus, cos my dad wake mi up.. den after a while my dad went gamble le.. den i was alone at home.. veri bored.. so smsed derek papa and xiafang jiejie.. den i forgot fang got nail polish lesson.. den she called mi n tell mi she cant mid mi.. den in e end, she called mi n tell mi wan go plaza sing nort.. den i actually say i cant.. den in e end.. i go mid her n lyn with papa.. met papa at e bus stop, den we walked to mrt station without talking.. den go mid lyn n fang jie.. den go walk walk wid them at ps.. after tt went my work place (lucky plaza) to fetch xiao hong jiejie from work.. den walk to far east find her sister.. xiao wei n her bf.. den not long after we went upstairs find hong fren.. den go down burger king find papa, fang jie n lyn.. not long after hong jie nig sis come liao.. den after derek papa eat liao, hong jie go find her sis.. den mi, fang jie, lyn n papa go home.. in e bus, i kept listen to e same song.. called 'ai dao cai zhi dao' its a very old song.. i listen to e song cos its v touching.. its in hokkien version.. veri nice.. den i alight e bus 1st.. den later fang den lyn.. when i m goin to alight, thought that he will send mi home.. 'i noe i veri 'bhb' '.. but neva.. walk back all alone.. saw 1 group of guys.. den i don care.. walk striaght... den come home bathe liao den come online liao.. haven eaten.. noe hungry.. don feel like eating also.. goin to hab gastric soon.. haii... dunno y todae i so unhappy.. haii.. nothing to say liao.. bb.. nite nite evryone..
l0ve mE..11:54 PM
.Friday, July 14, 2006 Y
tOdae.. iS hapPi? oR saD??..i dunno.. todae is happy or sad neh? hmm.. i realli dunno.. todae.. slept for less den 3 hours.. cos chat wid papa n xiafang jiejie.. they talking about.. my birthday.. wan go where eat.. if u ask mi wad is my wish for my birthdae.. i will tell u.. i wan my freedom.. i am not saying i have not enough freedom.. also not to request more den tt.. i hope to tell my sis on my birthdae.. i would want to spend realli e whole dae out wif my frens.. cos i think.. my fren is more impt den others.. realli.. i would like to spend one night outside with all my frens.. i wanna have e most memorable birthdae i ever had.. but.. i noe my sis wont wan mi to stay outside de.. but i would realli wanna tell her that.. but i am afraid.. i will give her troubles n all those.. hai.. i wish.. if i talk to my sis properly.. i would tell her.. can i reach hme back a bit late? everytime.. nid to b back by 6 plus.. if i nv, i will get scolded.. wadeva.. when can i b like my sis????... when can i?? i noe she will say i am still young.. but i am already big enough.. don worry its late or not.. i am not scared.. no one will actualli do wadeva things on mi de.. mayb my parents are all so sensitive bahs.. cant blame.. i am sensitive too.. hmm.. jus mayb my wish will come true bahs.. mayb i can spend a nite out wif my fren.. cos my frens wanna celebrate my birthdae with mi.. but i noes.. my sis n my parents will not grant my wish.. i really dunno wad to do.. todae spend e day out wif my xiafang jiejie n derek papa.. took some picx.. show u some of e pics..
derEk pApa pLayiNg pOol.. sHuaI hOrx.. lOls..oF coS laH.. mY gaN pApa lEh..
dEreK pApa n xIafaNg jIejIe.. cOoL..
nIcE shOt.. whOse haNd?? dErEk paPa oF cOs!!!
9 baLls.. nIcE???n yEa.. we went eat steamboat yest nite.. (13 july 20o6) realli enjoyed.. cos i neva go b4.. they knew i neva go eat b4.. so derek papa, fang jiejie,hong jiejie sharolyn n alot of ppl go.. realli enjoyed... hope if i can b back a bit late, i will wanna enjoy more.. cos now i knew.. frens is importannt den anything else.. realli.. show u some pics of e steamboat we eaten.. hope my birthdae.. i will b more enjoyed with u all my frens.. thankiew frens.. u realli made my life so meaningful.. 
fEel liKe eaTing?? nIce mAn..
faNg jIejIe n mIee.. yUmyUm..
lyN taKing pIc wIf mI.. wHen hEr mOutH iS fuLl oF fOod!!
yUmMy yUmMy!!!
hOng jIejIe eaTing heR fOod..
aFteR e eaTing..
lYn n mIee...
faNg jIejIe n lyN..
n e mOon.. aFteR e eatiN oF sTeaMbOat.. fuLl mOon.. nIce??
l0ve mE..12:51 AM
.Tuesday, July 11, 2006 Y
evErydaE iS jUst sEem nOthInG sPecIal tO mI..hMm.. one dae after one dae.. its nothing special... hMm.. thursdae going to eat steamboat with my frens.. my gan papa, my gan jiejie n my fren.. nv ate steamboat before.. strange rite??... but i realli did not eat steamboat before.. realli.. n summore.. tml is sharon's birthdae.. bo money to buy her present.. though i think she is goin to buy for mi one on my birthdae.. haii.. haven get my pay.. get liao also no use.. half of e money.. put inside my bank.. as wad my sista told mi to do.. left mayb bout 100 plus plus.. nid to do reborning.. reborning nid 100 plus plus also... den do reborning le.. money all gone liao.. i don think i will any single cent with mi animore.. thought i can gib my mum n dad some money.. but i don think can liao.. cos.. no money liao.. haii... thinkin that.. i can bring my parents out to eat dinner.. i treat.. but mayb.. i cant liao.. haii... i also nid money al0t man... no money realli cant live.. see anything liao i wish to buy.. but no money.. i don dare to let my sis buy anything i want.. cos she also don hab enough money to spend.. she also nids money.. got onee timee.. she almost go work part time.. cos of money.. cos i always col her buy things for mi.. i heard tt liao.. i don dare le.. actualli i don wan her buy thing for mi de.. i thought of earning money myself n treat myself a little bit.. to buy some of e things i love.. even though.. now.. i hab no more money with mi.. i also don wish to col my sis buy for mi.. cos.. she don hab enough money to spend too.. she every week gave mi $25.. jux b cos she afraid i hab no money to spend.. i told her b4.. n nid giv mi any money.. i still can live with $4 a dae my mum gave mi.. don nid to worry bout mi.. she says.. she still can afford.. den i told her.. no nid lahs.. he also no money to spend.. haii.. life without money is so bad also.. ppl do quarrel jus bcos of money.. haii.. but its betta.. to work for youself and when u get e pay, buy things u want to make urslef happi.. although its a bit expensive.. but its worth it.. cos u use ur own hard earnedmoney to pay for youself.. u will b more happy.. mayb u will b a bit bored when u were reading my blog, but don slp!! lols.. k lahs.. stop here.. now its a bit late.. gotta rest soon.. n yea.. our kidney rest from 11pm till 3am.. so if u don rest within tis timee.. ur kidney might have problem when u grow older.. lols.. tts wad my sis told mi.. i will still treat u e same as u treat mi.. k.. gotta slp... nite everyone!! let u see some pic of mine!
tHis pIc wAs taKen qUite lOng aGo..
lols.. gUeSs wHo iS tIs?? 'hmPh! i dOn leT u sEe mY faCe!!' lols.. iTs mY pApa laHs.. deRek.. lols.. don anGry wOrx papA!!
l0ve mE..1:18 AM
.Sunday, July 09, 2006 Y
sOo strEsS.. haIx..iT has been so long since i last blogged.. yEst.. receive a call from hong.. calling mi to work todae.. i say Ok.. early in e morning.. my mum.. qurrel with mi sia!! hai... she always have been looking down on mi.. sae my sis work till so 'xin ku'.. say she soooooo thin.. den i sae.. as if i work not 'xin ku' la.. den she say..if i always ans her back.. she wan send mi to wad.. girls home or wadeva.. she not happi of mi can tell mi wad... she don wan mi stay at hme can tell mi wad..y mus she always treat mi like tt.. i cant take it.. hai.. i wrong.. tt time.. last fri.. i sae i am goin to east coast.. i tell my sis.. i tell her i will b late a bit.. den she sa ok.. only for this time.. i say okok.. i tell her i will b back by 11 plus.. she say OK..den i reach home 11.45 like tt.. den she called mi after my bath..ask mi wad time i reach home.. i say.. 11.45.. den guess wad she say..'ni mei you shi jian guan nian de hor'means i neva keep e promise.. but at least i reach home 11 plus wad.. hai.. i took taxi home.. with kai xiang, edison, xiaohong.. guess wad.. i reached hme..father scold mi..mother scold mi..after my bath.. my sis call mi and scold mi.. nvm.. i noe i am wrong liao.. mayb i am just too 'ren xing'don care lah.. hai.. evertime scold till i 'xi kuan' le..they will say.. 'u think our hobby is scold u de meh?'i don feel petty for myself.. just that i deserve it.. all i did is wrong.. i am not perfect for everyone.. just not.. dunno lah.. don wan think so much.. just wan cool myself down now..n mayb.. i am just too stubborn.. leT u sEe wE iN e bUs whiLe gOing tO easT cOasT taKe dE piC..
e bLack gaNg.. lol..
aN ugLy shOt oF mYseLf..
l0ve mE..10:57 PM
.Wednesday, July 05, 2006 Y
i aM tIreD.. rEalLi tIreD..i aM tIrEd.. rEalLi.. i caNt taKe iT anImOre..i aM nOt peRfeCt fOr aNioNe... i jUx caN usE wOrk tO kEep mYseLf bUsy..tO kEep mYseLf nOt tO tHinK sO mUch..pPl dO haTe mI..haIix..yeSt.. mEt xIaOhOng jIe tO tPy..aTe lUncH wId heR sIs..deN wE waLk waLk.. bUy thIng..dEn plaY pOol..aFteR tT wE gO kIddY paLacE waLk waLk..dEngO mId mY sIs aRd orChaRd..gO waLk waLk..dEn eaT..dEn gO mId faNg..haIi..sEe sHe sO sAd.. maKe mi thInK baCk mOii paSt..sHe dRank beEr.. dEn sHe saE sHe nV aTe fOr 1 oR 2 daEs..den wE gO eaT.. dEn wHen sHe saW mI..sHe saE mOii fAce rEd..dEn wE eaT...dEn haIx..dOn saE lEr.. hMm..stOp pOstiN lEr.. v tIrEd.. oF e daEs i sPenT..haTe mYseLf oF beIng sUch a lOusY fRen..lEt u sEe sUm pIc mI n xIaOhOng jIe tOok tOgeTher.. 
aRd fOod cOurT.. aTe aLot oF thIngs..
lOok aRd e mEsS wE eaTen..
sHe is kIlLing mI..
l0ve mE..2:46 PM
. Y
dOn hUrt mI plS.. i nOe i hUrt u tOo.. bUt pls.. dOn hUrt mI.. i nOe i aM bAd.. i nOe i caNt b a gOod fRen..i wIsh i woUld cHange tOo.. bUt..i nOe i wOnt dO tT..hOpe u caN cHange tOo..nOt saEing tT u r baD..bUt jUx tO leT u nOe.. waD is dId iN e pasT.. iTs aLl wrOng..i nOes.. i caNt rEacH uR mInImuM rEquIreMents tO b uR fRen..bUt stiLl.. wiLl u b mOii fRen??i nOe u wOnt..cOs u dOn wIsh tO sEe mI arD aLl..haTing mYseLf iS waD i dO nOw.. cReaTing tRoubLes is nOt waD i waNt.. i waNt uS..tO b e bEst bUdDy liKe laSt tIme..cAN wE?? iF u dOn wIsh tO.. dEn i rEalLi dOnnO waD tO dO..bUt tO haTe mYseLf fOrevA.. caN wE b liKe lasT tiMe??
l0ve mE..2:27 PM
.Monday, July 03, 2006 Y
i aM jUx baD!!neVa mInd.. i nOe le.. i noe i am bad.. i am fan.. i am irritating.. i noe u hate mi a lot.. u don wanna see mi.. i noe all tis.. i noe i am bad.. yea.. i haven changed.. i am still e same.. u r right.. my attitude sucks! i noe a lot of ppl hate mi.. i noe tt.. n i noe who too.. yea.. i nv changed.. its all my fault.. all mine! i am still e same.. 'si xin'? yea.. tell u.. i will de k.. jux haven yet.. ok.. i noe ALL of u hav bad impression of mi.. even if i changed. will u wan mi? no okay.. i noe tt e ans is no! u neva hurt mi b4.. its all my revenge.. it i hurt myself. i noe tt! mayb sum ppl will not noe wad m i posting.. but i jux wanna tell u okay! i hab enough! i noe! all tis is my fault! i should 'si xin'!.. i noe.. i am not a good fren at all.. i m noot suit to b anyones fren!
nOone will b my fren..
l0ve mE..10:44 PM
. Y
uSeleSs mI.. uSeleSs wO.. nOrt tT i waNna sAe mySelF usEleSs aLl e tIme.. bUt.. i aM reAl usEleSs! nOw sTart wOrkinG.. aLwaEs sHoUt leG paIn... yeSt wOrk.. sTanD fOrr 11 hOurs.. leG reAlLi paIn.. 'bU shI wORk, jIu sHi liU zaI jIa..' haIix.. dUnNo laHx.. v faN.. pPl dId saE.. nO bF wOnt dIe.. i nOe.. bUt i jUz waN a peRsOn tO caRe fOr mI n lOve mI.. bUt i nOes tHerE is nO onE.. i wAnNa keEp mYsElf bUsy sO i wOnt thInk tT mUch.. evErytIme wHen i aRd hMe.. i wiLl aLwaEs tHinK e paSt.. saD deN wiLl crY.. tT tIme.. wHen hE saE hE waNs a brEakuP.. i crIed fOr hOurs n daEs.. tHinK of hIm frOm daEs tO mOntHs.. bUt i nOe itS iMpoSsIbLe beTwEen uS.. aFteR e brEakuP.. hE feLt rElaxeD.. 'nI yOu zHen xIn aI kuO wO maH???' i hOpe u dId.. maYb u dOn... i haTe beIng mYseLf.. wOrk tO keEp mYseLf bUsy.. e poOh.. leT mI thInk bacK e pasT.. aT tiMes.. i rEalLi fElt liKe crYing.. bUt he dIdnT.. i nOe.. nO gUys wiLl eva cRy fOr mI.. nO.. n NONE!! bUt i wiLl crY fOr tHem.. dOn saE aLl tIs liaOx.. haIix.. fRi, saT n sUn gOt wOrk.. waNna eaRn mOre mOneY.. cOs i nO mOneY tO speNd.. gOt mOneY liKe nO mOneY liKe tT.. eaRn liaO mUx pUt iNtO banK.. caN sPend a LittLe.. cOs nId tO saVe e mOneY tO rEbOrn mY haIr.. haIix.. sObx.. nO mOneY... nO lOve frOm anYonE.. haIix..
jUx waN lOve frOm e peRsOn i haVe aLwaEs lOvEd..
l0ve mE..9:04 PM
.Saturday, July 01, 2006 Y
bOreD..tOdaE.. slp tiLl 12 plUs deN waKe uP.. sMseD mY paPa.. hE saE hE nV slP fOr e wHolE nIte.. i waS sO gUiltY.. cOs lasT nItE i waS taLkiNg tO hIm oN phOne.. v tIreD.. tmL nEed tO wOrk aGain.. frOm mOrniNg tiLl nIte.. cOs i jUx waNa maKe mOre mOneY.. tmL aLthOugH sHarOlyn peI mI.. bUt sHe wiLl takE bUs hOme.. dEn i wiLl b waLkinG hOme.. aCtuaLly.. i dOn nId tO b sCarEd.. nO nId aT aLl... nO onE wOulD bUlLy mI wan.. jUx lOoK aRd mI.. i aM nt prEtTy.. nO nIce aRd aLl.. nO onE gOtTa bUlLy mI.. eVen iF i wiLl b baCk v laTe.. nO onE wOuld caRe.. tHinK maYb aFteR wOrk.. i wiLl nOt gO bacK hOme sTraIghT.. haIix.. dOnNo y.. tmL wiLl b gOinG bacK alOne.. haIx.. v sIans.. tHinG tT haVe cHangEd mY liFe.. tT iS uNhaPpInEsS, saDnEsS aNd lOnLinEsS.. nO onE wiLl lOvE mI.. cOs i aM jUx tOo eR xIn.. wHo is gOinG tO crEaTe mY liFe iNtO haPpiNeSs.. aCtuaLlI.. tHeRe is nO onE.. gUys lEavE mI.. pPl HateS mI.. i haTe tO b mYsElf tOo.. maYb i sHoUld tHinK.. i sHouLd lEad a sImpLe lIfe jUx liKe tT.. fReEdOm? i thInK i haB nOt mUch fReEdOm.. i dOn waNna pEtTy mYseLf, bUt jUx waNna haB mOre fReEdOm.. i dOn lOvE tO cReatE trOubLes.. waD i waN iS jUx sUm oNe wOuLd lOve mI.. caRe fOr mI.. haIx.. i knOw nO onE wiLl dO tT.. bEinG mYsElf iS waD i wAn.. i knOw tHerE maY b sOme uNhaPpInEsS in lifE.. bUt jUz waNna lEaD a caRefReE lifE.. dOn waNna taLk mUch, jUx waNna b aLonE..
jUx waNna b haPpI.. nO onE wiLl dO tT..
l0ve mE..9:48 PM
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