.Thursday, May 29, 2008 Y
Date: 3o May o8
Time: 1.58pm
hi. im here to blog again. hahas. todae have sch as normal. got back out costing CA paper. im so careless! got a question, i almost got full marks! ): im alwaes so careless. kay got nothing to do n she used my calculator n type yoketing n my name (:
[ps. i don wan to be so CARELESS again!]
i got 33.5/50 for my CA. 67%. at least i passed. (: i don wan to be careless animore~ :D
thinking of my past. i realise i have been through a lot. i learn to be strong.
one thing is friendship. my fren changed me a lot. thanks fren. (: in primary sch, im a hot tempered n 'xiao qi' gal. for oni a small problem, i will be very very angry. cos of my attitude, my frens don talk to me. n soon, i realise is my fault. cos my attitude is just so bad. finalli, i changed. n they are back with me again. (:
i still remember in pri 5 i think, a malay guy fall in love with me. i remembered i study in the afternoon. but me n him, meet at 6am behind the canteen everydae. we talked n laughed. but seriously we are not cpl. i dunno y. n during primary 5, i did a real huge mistake. my future is ruined by me. ):
primary 6, i was elected by mrs goh to be a prefect. she is a vei nice teacher. realli a veri nice teacher. n at e same time, our primary sch moved to ave 10. n of cos for me, a new sch, a new beginning. we merged with chong shan primary sch. as their sch is no long dere. from dere, i make a lot of frens. i have to do my duties every morning.. im in charge of a class called 6 hope. den i saw a guy. veri familiar. he is my sch mate in primary sch. hahas.
soon after, i graduated n went to deyi sec sch. my 1st yr sec sch. n its a old sch. den i realised e guy in my pri sch, he was also in deyi sec. beside my class. half yr later, we moved into the new deyi building.. nice! i think i fall in love with him. hahas. during sec 2, we get to know each other. he called me sometimes n we chat. soon after, we are in a relationship. after a week, he broke up with me. cos. its e 1st time im goin into a relationship. i dunno wad to do. i broke down i heard tat. it doesnt cure me veri fast. i alwaes think of it. i was thinkin if i would to treasure tis relationship, maybe we now still together.. hahas. don think so much! i recovered maybe a yr later? i forgot ler. den sec 3 we were in the same class. he organised a chalet, n invited me too. i went to the chalet. tat was the 1st time i go chalet. i have a happi time dere. n one day, my birthdae, we celebrated at link kwang. its a youth center. n he told his fren to pass mi present. when i noe tat he gave me a present, i was so.. happi.. realli happi.. but not long after, we become enemies cos of something. from then on, we stopped talking. n he starts to call me names n make mi fell so upset. i was not happi from then on.
oh ya. in sec one, dere is a guy in my class who treated mi so well. my birthdae, he would leave a present under my table. den he often to help me do things too. den sec 4, he just went off like this. he quit sch. i missed him as fren.
till sec 3, i learn how to go online n chat with ppl on the net. i knew a guy. we stead within one hour of our telephone conversation. i was too stupid. but tis relationship did last long. 1yr3mths. i den realise that we are not suitable for each other. he don understand me. when i just went into ite, im so busy wid project work n assignments. n he sae i was playing happily with my frens. he continued the irritating words till i cant tolerate n broke up with him. n also in e same time, i heard tat one of my sec sch classmate passed away cos of some sort of sickness. cancer. sadded. n i also saw the guy in my class who treat me so well. i was so happi!
dereafter, i call my gan kor to pei me, weijun n amelia to beach to celebrate my malay classmate birthdae. me n kor went veri far away n seated beside each other. talked about my past. i think he petty me. n when we are goin home, he send me home. n on e way home, he asked me for stead. i was blur n sae ok. he treated me so well. but after 3 months, he cant tolerate with me n we broke up. i was even more hurt den the previous relationship. i cut myself. cos i don wanna think too much.
xiao hong introduced me her fren after few months i last broke up with my ex bf. me n him, stead. at 1st, he was so sweet. n after a few months, he treat me like nothing. i don feel that im his gf. n from than on, we are silent.......... n we finalli, silent break.. i was sad. n trying to cut myself again. i noe its a stupid thing to do.
but after all this years, after wad i have learn, i don easily step into a trap animore. i wanna be strong. i don think i believe in guys animore. dey r just nothing. i cant force a person who don love me at all. no point. hais. im tired of all this things. now wad i wanna do is. study hard n get my cert. if i can go poly, i will go n study. i wanna have a bright future but i noe i cant do it. but i will try my best.
Time n0w. 3.11pm. LOL. i post for 2 hours.
l0ve mE..10:54 PM
. Y
Date: 29 May 08
Time: 4.55pm
wo0ts! is my new skin nice? HAHA. i spend 1 hours plus doin all this lehh~ haha. enjoy reading my bloggie! n before u leave, TAG! (:
l0ve mE..1:46 AM
.Thursday, May 15, 2008 Y
Date: 16 May 20o8
Time: 1437 hrs
todae de test. i realli cannot make it. i will sure fail. till veri jia lat. everyone got full marks for their question one. but i oni got 14/17. i passed. but i wanna do betta. i wonder how m i goin suffer during CAs. sians. sleepy.
off to sleep.
l0ve mE..11:34 PM
.Tuesday, May 13, 2008 Y
Date:13 May 2o08
Time:2222hrs [[nice hor!]]
aiy0yo. soo stress. SO many CA coming. tml got talk. no sw! last nite went veeko at westmall. bought some tops. :D . i seen a chinese doctor. ANYTHING also can eat. ._. i have drank a lot of plain water nowadaes. oh ya. last nite i also bought a cordless phone. so its easier when i wanna use it at hme. mm. i don have faith in my studies this semester. cos all figures. im all mixed up with everything. mushroom laopo birthdae coming. dunno wad to buy. any suggestion? dunno wad she like. aiyoyo. sians. FASTER. i wanna complete ITE ASAP. LOL. dunno wad to do now leh. everything is so mixed up. also no one wanna help mi. wad m i gonna doo???? die lahs. LOL. met up sis todae. went to shop for some shorts. cos i fat ler. cant wear anything. all small size liaos. but in e end, nth to buy. den went to eat with sis at s11. lols. after tat came home n audi loh. haha; oh ya. i just got married in audi yest. off to see my pictures. take care! too bad cant post pic here. dunno y. lols.
l0ve mE..8:13 AM
.Friday, May 09, 2008 Y
Date: 09 May 20o8Time: 2210 hrsgood. i think its time for mi to get out of this FAMILY. u said u nv done anything wrong to me. its u don remember at all. u, ur husband n ur precious daughter dunno how i feel. dunno wad is my feeling. ya. as u said. u nv done anything wrong. so is my fucking fault lah! everytime i m e one who is alwaes wrong. u all are alwaes right. u all done good things. i done bad things. i have not been giving in to u all right? i take u all for granted is it? i wont spend any of ur single cent ever again. if i move out. no one will let mi stay in their house. i would rather sleep on e street den live in ur house! its realli a torture! i alwaes have low self esteem. i noe ppl look down on me. im not a good fren. i make ppl hate mi so much. tats y ppl will oni how to sae how bad a fren m i. im not as happy as i wanted. no one und me. no matter how ppl treat mi, they are alwaes right. how e way i treat ppl is alwaes wrong. wad can i do? i feel i cant endure animore. im realli sick n tired of this family. school. i've had enough. maybe e previous life i owe u all till this life. i dunno how to repay u all. i realli dunno how. i treat myself as a invisible person. i hope no one can see me. i live in my own life with no problems behind me. maybe that is alwaes wad i wanted.
l0ve mE..7:04 AM
.Thursday, May 08, 2008 Y
Date: 08 May 2o08
Time: 1824 hrs
don ever treat mi as ur daughter ever again! in fact u nv treat mi as ur daughter before! u onli treat ur precious daughter good! i don even treat mi good at all! i talk to u nicely. u shouted at me. if ur precious talk to u, u will talk to her nicely! WHY?!?!?!??! COS OF MONEY. ALL BCOS OF MONEY. im goin crazy. TOTALLY CRAZY. I GIV UP. i give up of this family! i give up on everything! i tell u. don ever force mi OUT OF THIS HOUSE! all u were saying. im just nth to u. but ur precious is everything to u! NOT ME! good. if u wanna force mi out of this family, I WILL. don think tat i have no where to go. even if i sleep on e streets, i wont COME BACK. i don treat this as my home. this is not my HOME. other ppl can have a wonderful family n why not me? wad wrong have i done? WAD E FUCK HAVE I DONE WRONG?! U TELL MI! U TELL MI! I TALK TO U NICELY. U SHOUTED AT MI. NVM. VERY SOON i will be out of this house! SOON. good. don ever call mi back home as this is not my house! NOT A HOME OF MINE! NOO! im driving CRAZI. driving NUTS! U BETTER DON TRY ME. I WILL PROMISE U WAD I HAVE SAID. IM NOT JOKING.
l0ve mE..3:33 AM
.Wednesday, May 07, 2008 Y
Date: 08 May 2o08.
Time: 1452 hrs.
dunno wad e FUCK im doin. im alwaes slow in doing things. other ppl can be good in anything dey do. but i cant. i realised whatever things i do is alwaes so slow! i wanted to give up my studies. but afterall i tot, i've came to 2nd yr in higher nitec. i muz endure. but sometimes things i jus don understand and ask u. u will answer mi. yes. ure answering mi. but not in a very proper manner. its as if like ure realli so pro in tat subject. so u can talk to mi like so hao lian. i have try to understand. but till now i still don understand y u wanna treat mi like this. as if im a stupid person where no one can teach mi in my studies. i noe im a goner. but for e sake of my future, i wanna study hard. but sometimes not many things i can memorise into a STUPID HEAD of mine. i decided. i will not ask u animore questions. n sorry to have make u answer so many of my question. now u will be free. thats y todae im in super no energy mood n super BAD MOOD. i alwaes feel ppl looking down on mi cos im in ite. n while in ite, i nv did well for my 1st yr. i noe i will not get good grades for my 2nd yr too. im mentally prepared for e worst of my results. i cant do anything well as well as in sw lesson. at first, we skipped. n i sprained my both ankle. but a while later its okae ler. but. after jumping over e blue mat, i fell n hurt my leg. now both my leg is VERI VERI VERI SUPER painful. i cant walk down e stairs. cos i feel damn painful. n who is goin to care? not even my parents would care for mi. dey will onli care for my sis. wadeva my sis does, its alwaes correct. on e other side, im alwaes wrong. wad my parents go after is my sis money. dey wont care bout me but my sis n her money. my parents is so scared when my sis shouted dem to shut up. but if i were to tell dem not to talk, dey will still keep quarreling. cos y? MONEY. NO MONEY, NO RIGHT TO STOP THEM. i have no right to stop anything. im not a good daughter, sister n friend. but. im a goner.
l0ve mE..2:52 PM
.Thursday, May 01, 2008 Y
my 111th post!
Date: 02 May 2o08
Time: 1.53pm
hi all. im back. todae had costing n accounts lesson. so 'ma lu' during costing lesson. d0n sae ler. hahas. todae de accounting quite ok. not veri hard. learnt new topic for costing n accounting. :D but i bet it will get harder. my sensitive nose is feeling betta ler. (: YES! yest i bought PINK colour case for my N81! ((: so sad. todae shihui while she is on e train, 2 china man standing beside her. stole her hp. stupid. i hope dey drop inside e toilet bowl! but nvm shihui! its also an excuse to buy another new phone! choose my N81 lah! it ROCKS! it looks somehow like ur N70 last time! ((: mm. nth much to blog ler. AUDITION-ING STARTS...... NOW!
l0ve mE..1:53 PM
